College & University Information

College Roommate Personality Clashes: How to Survive


Are you living with your total opposite? It's amazing how different two people sharing the same (tiny) room can be. Even the littlest things can drive you crazy after awhile! You eat Big Macs and chicken wings while your roommate swears by tofu and beans; you like Coldplay and your roommate cranks up Tim McGraw. You're East Coast; your roommate is West Coast. Whatever your differences (and there are bound to be a few), you need to figure out what you're willing to live with and what's fair to ask your roommate to change.

Your roommate may have an accent that grates on your nerves, but that's not something you can ask a person to change. It's also not fair to expect someone to change his entire personality to suit you. It would be great if we could snap our fingers, and BAM, instant personality makeover! Not gonna happen. So, you need to separate personality traits from irritating habits. You won't transform your roommate into your new best friend, but you can make things a lot more bearable. Here are a few ideas:

Talk. If something's bugging you, bring it up in a non-defensive way rather than assume your roommate can read your mind. Nothing can change unless you acknowledge it. It's possible that your roommate may not even be aware of the problem.

Focus on behavior, not personality. It's not reasonable to ask people to change who they are, but you can ask them to tone down how they express themselves, especially when it's invading your turf. So, you can't criticize someone for being "perky," but you can ask for someone not to talk so much while you're studying.

Stay flexible. It's not your job to fix anybody else, and it helps to recognize that no one is perfect. Be willing to look at your own behavior. Consider what you could do differently to help the situation instead of only blaming your roommate.

Start with one pet peeve. What can you absolutely not deal with? What do you find extremely irritating, but could live with if you had to? There are probably tons of things your roommate does that get on your nerves. But nothing kills a relationship faster than listing dozens of reasons why you don't like a person. Instead, both of you need to list your number one pet peeve and focus your energy on solving that first.

Consider the positives. Before you decide that life would be better with a roommate exactly like you, think of what you could gain by living with your opposite. We're often attracted to people who are different from us because they represent qualities we wish we possessed. If you're shy, maybe being around a more outgoing person will force you out of your shell. When one person's strength makes up for the other's weakness, being opposites is an advantage.

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate from Hell (Adams Media). More college survival tips are listed on her site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com


MORE RESOURCES:
Google

The Business-Higher Education Forum (BHEF) to Build National ...
FOXBusiness - 11 hours ago
WASHINGTON, July 22 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- The Business-Higher Education Forum (BHEF), a national organization of Fortune 500 CEOs, prominent college ...


Average of 40 complaints per college
Expressindia.com, India - 9 hours ago
Pune July 23 The goof-ups ? of students being shown absent though they appeared for the exam ? are not limited to of Vinit and Ganesh. ...


Don't lose competitive edge by cutting college budgets
Atlanta Journal Constitution,  USA - 18 hours ago
By Rob Hassett According to Tuesday's AJC, the chancellor of Georgia's 35 public colleges and universities has asked the presidents of those institutions to ...


Lee County substitute teachers have orientation in August
The News-Press, FL - 12 hours ago
While full-time teachers are getting ready for students to return in August, substitute teachers will get their own orienation that week. On Aug. ...


Campus Planners Discuss Challenges in Attaining Sustainability
Chronicle of Higher Education (subscription) - 23 minutes ago
By SCOTT CARLSON At the annual conference for the Society for College and University Planning, sustainability isn't a foreign notion anymore. ...


Students get firsthand look at China
Agoura Hills Acorn, CA - 1 hour ago
Nineteen of Viewpoint School's Upper School students recently returned from a twoweek educational exchange in China, which included visits to Beijing, ...


DiCarlo represents a natural beauty, which might make her a winner
Caledon Citizen, Canada - 1 hour ago
By David Anderson She will be competing with 30 other hopefuls in this year's Miss Canada Globe in late August. She graduated from the early childhood ...


Inter-club volleyball set at USLS
Visayan Daily Star, Philippines - 2 hours ago
BY NDIA BUENAFE Champion volleyball teams from Negros Occidental and neighboring areas are expected to converge at the University of St. La Salle College ...


Drinking games prove deadly to college students
Kalamazoo Gazette - MLive.com, MI - 6 hours ago
WINONA, Minn. -- On the morning after the house party on Johnson Street, Jenna Foellmi and several other twentysomethings lay sprawled on the beds and ...


Dentist missed hockey history by the skin of his teeth
Chetek Alert,  United States - 10 hours ago
Shea, who works at Midwest Dental in Chetek, has quite the story to tell about his brush with hockey immortality. The tale starts when Shea was three years ...

College-University - Google News

home | site map
© 2006