| |
| |
|
Coaching Information |
|
|
|
Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD?? It makes me SO MAD I just want to...
Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only way of doing so is to listen to your self-talk. This doesn't mean listening to yourself talk. It means listening to your SELF-TALK. It's quite true that anger is created from within. No matter how much you say-"She made me mad!" "It makes me so mad when?"-the anger comes from YOU, not it or she. Our thoughts about "it" or "she" is actually where the anger comes from. And by changing our thinking we can change the way we feel (for example, instead of angry or enraged, annoyed or irritated..) Doesn't it make sense, then, if anger is created from within that we have the power from within to keep from getting angry? The answer is a definitive YES. By adjusting how you think about a situation, to listen your self-talk, is how you keep yourself from getting mad-period. How? By listening for demands. What are demands? They're easy to spot. They tend to express themselves in words such as SHOULD, ought, must, have-to, need. Depending upon the context and situation, when these words or thoughts are used they will create anger. Whether you use them on someone or someone is using them on you, a sense of anger, rage or mad evolves from these words/thoughts of demand when things don't go your way. There are numerous examples of how this is true, but here is a simple one that most everyone can relate to: You're driving in rush-hour traffic, late to get home. Another driver cuts you off, almost hitting you, so he can run a yellow light that actually is quite red by the time he runs it-leaving you stopped at the light and cursing the driver as he speeds away. Your immediate thoughts are: "What an idiot! People like that shouldn't be allowed to drive!! He's an accident waiting to happen. They ought to lock him up!!" The word -should- creates anger because of its demanding nature. Simply stated, the situation is history. Yet, by saying it shouldn't happen you're demanding that reality not exist as it does, lousy as it may seem. Bottom line: it happened as it should based upon all the events that led up to it happening. Instead if you approach the situation without demands then your reaction will change appropriately. You may wish he didn't drive that way, you may prefer it, but he's driving that way?so don't deny the reality of it! It may be illegal, but it's his choice to drive that way. You'd feel much better to accept it and not demand anything to the contrary. This works for anything in life. When you "should on somebody" you're creating anger for yourself (or them) when it is totally un-necessary. When you knock off the demands, shoulds and oughts, you'll notice a difference. It would be nice if things always went the way you want them to go, but that isn't reality, so become more tolerant by listening to your own thoughts and you'll start to see anger withering away. Dr. David L. Thomas, LMHC About The Author Dr. Thomas is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with a practice in Tampa, FL. He has been counseling people to feel better for over 21 years. This article is posted at www.stressgroup.com. He is also the co-author of Quit Smoking-Be Happy!-see www.quitsmoking-behappy.com to learn more.
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Take Responsibility for Reshaping Your Life We say we want to eat better, feel better, and look better. But in order to make our goals materialize, we have to take responsibility for what we want by taking the appropriate actions. Life Coach, Counsellor, or Therapist; - How do I choose? Life coaching has become fashionable in recent years and there seems to be a big demand for what they offer. Counselling and many forms of therapy are also on offer, these may have been around for many years and have advantages to offer clients. Executive Coaching and the American President Perhaps no one better than a former U.S. Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People 1. Do not believe everything you hear!With close friends and family it is not unusual to think that you ought to take onboard everything you hear. Get Coached! Coaching is a hot trend at a growing number of companies, from IBM and Dow Chemical to entrepreneurial start ups. According to a recent survey by The Hay Group, an international human resources consultancy, between 25 percent and 40 percent of Fortune 500 companies use executive coaches. 5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual "3 Questions, 5 Minutes a Day: Make leaps towards greater balance in one single week with the Shicka Boom 5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual" By Laura Lallone, Certified Life CoachThis article is dedicated to a woman that I've never met and probably never will. Tall with dark, dark hair, she was perfectly manicured in a tailored suit with high-heeled pumps. Who Do You Talk To? Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or parts of, whether they are your own or not. This means that you have many things to deal with on a day to day basis plus trying to do the long-term thinking needed to lead and run the business. How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have, and most of them reside in the past. So you may ask, why should I let go of my past when much of it is filled with beautiful memories and serenity?Well, that is certainly not what I mean. What The Buddha Says About Coaches There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself. The Top 10 BEST Things About Having a Coach Obviously, there are many wonderful things about having a personal coach to support and encourage you. Everyone develops their own working relationship with their coach, and each situation is unique. Coaching: The Art of Putting Yourself In Somone Elses Shoes COACHING STEPS: The following are five (5) steps a coach can take to change behavior and performance. The goal of this process is to create the context for the person being coached towards one in which excellence becomes the norm. Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace MOVING THROUGH CHANGECreating any major change in our lives can also create feelings of discomfort. Tiredness, confusion, and uncertainty are among the many emotions that can be experienced. Essence of Awakeness Be conscious, aware, and alert. Pay attention. A Quick Checklist for Improving Your Life 1. Learn About YouIf you don't know who you are and why you think and act the way you do, it's gonna be really difficult to make any positive changes in your life. A Fresh Look at the Choices We Make We are frequently held back from making future plans or reaching goals based on the perceived wrongness of choices we've made in the past. I want to give you something to think about. Time Travel Let me quote something you wrote. "When you reach the boundary between like and love, you know you are entering a different country. Success Secrets - The #1 Money Secret I Learned from Interviewing Over 23 Millionaires All over the Net, people are asking you to pay them for 'get rich' secrets, all the 'systems' have different names. Have you ever asked yourself this question, how many of them are really rich? Maybe a few, right?Wouldn't it be refreshing the learn money making secrets from ones who have documentation to back up there success? Then you know they are legit. Sheep Do Not Start Out Lost Have you ever thought about how sheep get lost? Even with a shepherd, they still get lost. How does this happen? The one thing I know for sure is that they did not start out lost. How Empathy Can Reduce Your Anger Jim, a 42-year old engineer was teaching his eight-year-old son how to fly a radio-controlled airplane. As the airplane was taking off, Jim instructed his son to push the control stick on the radio to the right. Growing On G.R.O.W - A More Specific Coaching Model For Busy Managers The effective coaching of employees by their line managers is fast becoming an expectation from both senior management and from the employees themselves. Many managers are now being taught how best to coach their employees by employing the standard coaching model called G.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
