| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
Your Default Settings
Buy a computer--any computer--and it comes loaded with software automatically set to certain default settings. For example, the default setting for Word is Times New Roman 12-point. Last week, as I presented one of my periodic Best Year Yet(R) programs, I found myself referring to default settings of the human variety. Human default settings are those areas of life where we unconsciously cooperate with limiting thoughts and behaviors that keep us from living our best lives. A default setting in our lives can be anything from automatically turning on the television set when we walk into a room, to spending too much time surfing the net or checking email...it's usually brainless, time-stealing and rarely does it add value to our lives. Deeply entrenched default settings become beliefs like: "I'm not smart enough, pretty enough, educated enough...", (or any of a thousand variations). And just as documents pre-set with Times New Roman 12-point type have a consistent and readily identifiable look, our habits of thinking--default settings--produce results that are consistent with them as well. Default thought: "I don't have the right clothes (or whatever), so I can't start working out." Result: Not working out. Default thought: "I always have to be available for my clients." Result: No time to refill your own tank, ultimately leading to burnout. Is it possible to change our human default settings? Absolutely. Is it easy? Not usually. But if you find yourself defaulting rather than designing how you want to live, work, or play, with commitment and consistency, you can override your automatic settings. Here are some steps to help you do it: First, become aware of your default modes. You might start by making a list of things you do habitually that may not be useful or beneficial. Too much email or TV, not exercising, making excuses for not starting a project or growing your business, blaming others for what's happening (or not) in life, working too many hours, not pursuing a hobby, and always saying yes when you want to say no are just a few examples of default settings that may be keeping you stuck. Secondly, notice the amount of excuse-making and rationalizing you generate around your default modes. You'll often recognize these monologues by their characteristic repetitive phrases: "I can't," "I have to," "When I get X, then I'll do Y," "It's only," or "Just this once." Thirdly, see if you can drill down to the core issue that's really at cause. A few years ago I realized that I was a victim of "yes-itis," a behavior characterized by the tendency to say yes to everyone's requests for my time. I realized that my default setting was based on a belief that in order to be liked I always had to say yes. When I recognized it, I created a new internal message for myself: "I say no to others so I can say yes to myself." Then when my old default behavior came close to kicking in, I would remind myself of the new message. Eventually this became my default setting. And now, though I do occasionally slip, most of the time I at least stop to check my gut to ask whether this program or project is something I really want to do (is it a "yes" to myself?) before deciding to commit to it. Finally, it helps to create options to steer you away from old, habitual patterns of behavior. If you have a habit of turning on the TV the minute you walk in the house, start by entering through a different door. If you tend to spend too much time on the computer, close the door to the room or office where your computer is located. If you work tend to work too much, schedule times to meet a friend that require you to leave the office earlier a couple of days a week. If it's saying yes to your own detriment, develop the habit of requesting 24 hours to think over any decisions before making a final commitment. Ultimately we all get to choose the life we want to live. For some it will be based entirely on default settings, never questioning the beliefs or behaviors that dictate the quality of their lives. This week, I challenge you to examine your default settings to see if they are really adding to the richness of your life or just the convenience of it. Trust me, I'll be doing the same. Betty *********************** "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." ~~Ralph Waldo Emerson Betty Mahalik has been coaching small business owners, independent professionals and leaders who want to achieve more but stress less, since 1996. Her background includes several years in the broadcasting and public relations fields prior to starting her own firm in 1987. She is an accomplished public speaker and corporate trainer specializing in communications, goal-setting and leveraging your strengths. Since 2001, she has written a weekly motivational message, free to subscribers, titled Monday Morning Coach. To subscribe or learn more about Betty's coaching and training services, visit http://www.dynamic-coaching.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Enjoy the Magic of Prosperity There is an art and a science to prosperity. The art is playing with the magic of prosperity. Universal Law Have you ever had "one of those days" when absolutely everything goes wrong? Have you ever wondered why some people are successful, while others spend their entire lives struggling? Do you ever get the feeling that someone is out to get you because everything you touch goes wrong?If you're like most people, these thoughts do occur to you from time to time. But what is the answer to these questions? Is it a question of luck, could it be fate or is there something else going on here of which most people are unaware?The answer is both all around us and within us, and is called Universal Law. How Do You Attract Opportunity Into Your Life? Someone recently asked me the question: "How can I have more opportunities come into my life?" Good question, but I think my answer surprised them a bit.I bypassed the obvious (and necessary) points about hard work, persistence and preparation. 14 Relationship Principles to Live A Successful Relationship Each relationship combines two individual stories to coauthor a new relationship story. The implicit contracts authored by each party in a relationship become unspoken assumptions that can facilitate or derail the relationship. When You Attract Negative People, Be Thankful Laws of Attraction are clearly defined. What comes back is a reflection of the energy you are radiating. Great Communication Skills Having good communication skills in the workplace is important. This article will provide tips to take into account a rapidly changing workplace. You Cant Direct the Wind but You Can Adjust the Sails Dear Friend,First of all, let's take a look at the meaning of the word "metamorphosis" and how it can possibly be of interest to IT Service Management. Metamorphosis: Noun (plural metamorphoses - say metuh´mawfuhseez) ? "the change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation; the structural or functional modification of a plant organ or structure during its development. The Revolution Begins When YOU take Control I'd like to share a story with you about two interesting people that we ALL know.Ms. Taking Charge of Your Inner Movie I first heard about this when I read The New Psycho-cybernetics by Dr Maxwell Maltz and Dan Kennedy. I enjoyed it because it expanded on the importance of Intrapersonal Communication. What are You Creating? Before you left school, did any of your teachers sit you down, and ask: 'How will you use your unique gifts in the world? Did they even explore the term 'unique gift' with you?And what about your relationships?The term 'soul-mate' sounds like a wonderful concept, doesn't it?But did anyone point out to you that it would be impossible for your soul mate to discover your soul, before you discovered your own soul for yourself?And what about our own children? What are we teaching them?We'd love them to thrive, be prosperous and go out into the world with confidence. Yet if we lacked an inspirational teacher or important advice from a parent, how can we expect our children to achieve greater richness and abundance than we manage?Clearly there is a need for us all to seek greater wisdom, be that for ourselves or for a youngster. Feng Shui To Attract Love Not having much luck in love lately? Relationship falling apart? Maybe its those upside down dried flowers in you have hanging in your hallway, (oh so chic in Martha Stewart Land but the kiss of the death in Feng Shui circles.) Or maybe its the antique full length mirror in your bedroom . How To Put An End To Rejection Rejection is one of the most painful experiences in relationships. Not only rejection from our partner, but also rejection from ourselves. You Teach People How to Treat You So often we hear people ask the question, "Why does he/she/they treat me/us so badly?". The honest answer, in most cases, is "Because you let him, her or they!"If that seems too simple an answer, think of it this way. Do You Have an Exit Plan? Recently, I came across something strikingly shocking, fascinating, obscure, and yet, completely obvious.Few of us have an "Exit Plan. Does Size Matter? Bigger is better. Isn't that the American dream?Why buy a road-hogging, critter-squishing, bumper-defying, wall-of-metal SUV when you have the delicious option of buying a BIGGER road-hogging, critter-squishing, bumper-defying, wall-of-metal SUV?Why settle for a puny three-bedroom, two-bathroom bungalow of our parents' generation nestled comfortably on a green plot of land with a few nice shade trees? In new "developments" these days, you can choose a two-storey home bulging beyond the property line of today's incredible shrinking lots, complete with a bedroom that can sleep 34 PLUS a walk-in closet that sleeps another 20 AND an ensuite bathroom big enough to store your SUV when your 300-cubit-long garage is full of toys or tools. A Magnificent Obsession Is The Best Medicine! The idea I'm about to share with you can bring you the greatest hope. It can bring you happiness beyond anything you've ever dreamed. Plug in with a Pupose! Imagine that each person on this planet carried with them a teaspoon of soil or rock from Mt. Everest. Who Do You Want to Meet? One of the goals that I encourage my clients to work on is to create a list of people they wish to meet.What kind of people?People who inspire them! (a religious leader)People who they admire! (a person who gives with all their heart!)People who they would love to interview! (a newsmaker)People whose books they've read! (who is YOUR favorite author?)People who they'd love to cook dinner for! (a famous chef maybe?)When I heard about this technique I wasn't really sure I believed it, but I thought it couldn't hurt to try - so I made my list. The Mirror Man Lady Twilight felt angry. It was one of those days when she was doing her best to be nice to everyone but nobody was being nice to her. First Impressions - Turn Fear Into Courage The top business people all say the same thing - first impressions count. Sounds easy, and it is easy for those few who can start a conversation with just about anyone but how many people do you know who are like that?On the other hand when you're shy it's easy to avoid other people, shyness automatically comes with a PhD in how to creatively avoid people, especially strangers!However this tendency can prove detrimental to your business especially when you consider that your ultimate success can depend on approaching people and making a great first impression.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
